This is not your destruction.
This is your birth. n.t. (via blurrymelancholy)
I will admit
that I know nothing about sacrifice,
and I know, I know, I know,
that it is hard to admit that you were right. It was hard
for the last month
to learn to love his friends again. To learn to listen.
To learn to use my mouth for kissing
other mouths. For kissing yours. And the floor
of my car is still sticky with syrup. And my mother
in the kitchen
heats up the chicken and gives me advice: “It is not right
to force your love on people who can’t take it.”
She makes it sound easy. I am on my knees
re-living high school. I fall off the bicycle.
My mother never told me what to do with this
empty love, bloody hands. I am in the bathroom washing them.
But what about the kisses? But what about the dreams, and the meaning
I always give them? But what about last month,
when I said I wanted him and he said “me too” and his mouth was shaped like he meant it?
It is hard to admit this: he didn’t mean it.
So I drop myself off at the bottom of the ocean. So I work on forgiving.
And your mouth is somewhere else,
and I am here, spinning in circles, trying not to wonder what it’s saying.
This is not what I thought life had promised me,
but maybe I should stop wondering. I am shrinking.
And I spread myself like butter across my bed.
I will not wonder
why you are not beside me.
1. Who you are now is not who you will be in 10 years. It is okay to be somebody new 10 minutes from now. We are always learning. We are always growing. If you realized 10 seconds ago that you don’t like who you are, shed your skin, retry, replant yourself in good soil.
2. Cleaning is instant therapy. When your brain is muddy, take a shower, wash your hands, change your clothes. Spend 15 minutes straightening your living room. When you are angry, scrub things. I know it’s crazy but it works instantly.
3. Forgive someone’s debt if it’s under 50 dollars, forgive the small things, give a little time to yourself and forgive the big things too. Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about you. That being said - if someone ever hurts you in a way that would make me cry to know, you get out of there, my love. You just get up and go.
4. Gum karma is real and if you spit out a piece in public expect to find some on your shoe in the future. Same goes for insults and harsh judgement, too.
5. Do what you love and the money will follow.
6. Live your life with an open palm and give as much as you can and as often. At some point in your life, someone will lend you 50 bucks when you’re down on your luck. Remember how that feels. Remember to give that back.
7. Always wear clean underwear. You’ll thank me later.
8. There is a difference between being kind and being passive and there are those who cannot see that difference. They will try to walk all over you. Never bend your knees for those who do.
9. Have faith. Have faith in god or people or yourself or science or in luck or in all of the above. Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what keeps us strong.
10. Pay your bills on time whenever you can, although money is nothing. Remind yourself that.
11. Do not forget you were once ignorant of all you know now. Be patient of anyone who hasn’t had the education you have. Speak at the level of the person you are with - it’s not playing dumb, it’s being considerate. There’s no reason to make them feel uncomfortable. Plus then when someone starts going off about their superior IQ, you can cut them to pieces and watch their face when you do.
12. You are the best person in the room for one particular thing, and that’s confidence. You are the worst person in the room for another thing, and that’s humility. Use both carefully.
13. Never make fun of someone’s beliefs or superstitions, let your kid keep their imaginary friend and let your best buddy believe in knocking on wood. We all have security blankets. Don’t take away someone else’s.
14. Try to learn something new every day.
15. The worse you look, the more likely you are to run into someone you know so instead of feeling awkward, learn to be confident in sweats while talking to your friends.
16. Never go to bed angry, it will ruin your sleep and make tomorrow even harder. Find a way to relax. Don’t let today get to your head.
17. Think before you speak. When someone says something, mull over their words before answering. This is called listening, it is different than hearing.
18. What keeps love beautiful is that there’s risk involved. If he breaks your heart and it doesn’t hurt, it wasn’t love in the first place.
19. Never let someone else determine who you are or how happy. You are too strong to be torn apart.
20. I love you, even when we are fighting, even when I am fast asleep. Don’t doubt it for an instant. You are my everything.Life lessons my mother has taught me from the side of her hospital bed (part 2/2 of a series) /// r.i.d (via fearlessknightsandfairytales)
1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.
2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.
3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.
4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.
5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)
but the things I forgot to say-
the “sorry”s I never got out
the clever remarks I thought of
while walking away from a conversation
the declarations of love I was too afraid
to stain others with
the truths I felt weighing down
(my whole being)
My insides are blank basins
My tongue a dead weight
I am made of nothing
I think constantly
but remain quiet.
Nothing | Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)
i am still saying nothing even when i think i am saying something
You can change what you want about yourself at any time. You see yourself as someone who can’t write or play an instrument, who gives in to temptation or makes bad decisions, but that’s really not you. It’s not ingrained. It’s not your personality. Your personality is something else, something deeper than just preferences, and these details on the surface, you can change anytime you like.
If it is useful to do so, you must abandon your identity and start again. Sometimes, it’s the only way.
Set fire to your old self. It’s not needed here. It’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others, and watching days go by and asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like. This old self will die and be forgotten by all but family, and replaced by someone who makes a difference.
Your new self is not like that. Your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary. Julien Smith, The Flinch (via exoticwild)